My mother was the probably one of the most naturally psychic people I ever met. 

She was an atheist.

This was problematic, Seriously problematic, because she was often dealing with spiritual phenomena, entities, beings, etc. that she didn't have the worldview to either understand of skillfully negotiate, or handle.

She was a highly "spiritual" person, attempting to live a life in which she denied that spirit existed.

It wasn't easy.

However, it proved a point.  One does not need to be a "spiritual" person to be a psychic, or a medium.  There are plenty of wildly psychic atheists and agnostics in the world who would vehemently deny the existence of a human "soul" or "spirit" or consciousness above and beyond what our biomechanical daily functions provide us with.  They would swear to you that they know there is only the conscioiusness of chemicals and biological processes, urges and drives... and stand by their reductionist view of humanity, and the biomechanical model of the human being.

When the psychic atheist meets you at some intersection in time and space where spirituality will be discussed - however briefly, they won't say "I'm a spiritual person."  and then go onto describe how psychic and intuitive they are, not matter how psychic and intuitive they are.  They will most likely say, "I'm an atheist."

The point is that it doesn't matter.  The atheist with abilities (no matter how much they deny them) and the spiritual person with abilities (no matter how much they embrace them)  are both coming from and existing within a place of both physical and spiritual truth and equality.   The psychic atheist may be more confused and conflicted about their own psychic abilities than the "spiritual" psychic... but being spiritual is not necessary for one's  psychic ability to exist and grow.

And, being more spiritual, is absolutely not necessary for the psychic ability to exist and grow.   The only thing that is necessary is the person existing and growing.... or simply, being.

If you are a psychic, empath or intuitive, and you were raised by atheists, or agnostics, or even religious people who considered your gifts to be an uncomfortable "aberration" of some sort or another... it doesn't matter what came before, and it doesn't matter if you feel you are behind in learning to negotiate and handle your intuitive abilities.  What's more important on the path to having grounded intuitive ability is allowing yourself to be.  And "Be' doesn't need a descriptive word like spiritual behind it.  It's just BE.

It's okay to just be. 

If it's hot outside, just be hot.  If you are happy, just be happy.  If you are mentally blocked at the moment, just be mentally blocked.

You don't need to try, strive, push, or abuse yourself for wherever it is you percieve you are being, spiritually, or not-so-spiritually.

Just be.

Much of my work involves helping people through times of transition in their lives.  Whether the transition is from being married to becoming single again, balancing motherhood or fatherhood with work, the loss of a parent, child, pet, the loss or change of a job or career, spirit usually calls on a person to willingly release the energetic state of what was before in order to allow for the creation of what will be to begin.  Sometimes this release is harder to do than at other times, college graduates, for example.. usually don't want to stay in college, and are eager to get the path to whatever happens next. 

But a change in a long standing relationship, even if the relationship is with a location, a job, or a former spouse is often harder to navigate, accept and allow.  This is where scheduling a session with one's spirit guides, and then a session for emotional clearing work can be helpful. Stagnant, stuck energies and thought patterns of old belief systems, feelings, expectations, desires and not yet realized dreams may be shifted into movement, allowing for feelings of hopefulness, clarity and faith in the path and the process of life.

If you haven't enjoyed either of these types of work in the past, and you are in transition,  I suggest scheduling a 30 minute Psychic Reading, followed by a 30 minute Emotion Code emotional clearing session.

Clearing the past is the first step in embracing, and creating, a brilliant future.

When I was learning spirit mediumship, my teachers loved to remind me.  "All mediums are psychics, but not all psychics are mediums."  Their words have been reverberating in my mind the past few weeks as I am experiencing what it is like, first hand, to watch people react to my rather large business sign in front of the house:  STARSHINE:  Spirit Medium Elizabeth Anglin.   Starshine is an art gallery that also offers intuitive healings and readings, and yes, spirit mediumship. 

The reactions of passersby were at first heartening to me. "Oh, good... the sign is calling attention to the shop.  People are noticing!"  But soon, I realized that not all of the attention was positive.  People had opinions about what "Spirit Medium" meant.  "Oh, she just wants to take your money."  or "Oh, I don't want to go in there, it's going to be just FULL of CRYSTALS."  It isn't, I have an agreement with the original crystal seller in town to go easy on the crystal selling.  Or worse "Let me go inside and give the devil possessed woman (the spirit medium) inside the stink eye while I ask her questions about her business."  or my favorite reaction from this weekend. "Oh, it's art, Oh, and pretty jewelry, and there's a dog, and a friendly kitty, and a friendly person... this is not a bad place. Wait, what's that?  A Tarot Deck?  Ahhhhhh!  Run away! Run away!"

I'm not sure why, but intuition is a hot hot button for many people.  You might assume the Spanish Inquisition was still taking place (perhaps it is?) and that the agents of one religious organization or another are mobilizing their troups to "seek and destroy" anything that might be construed to be witchcraft or "of the devil."  The negative ethic seems so ingrained that some people cannot even consider simply walking into the shop, enjoying the paintings, the beautiful photography, the upcycled clothing, the artisan created jewelry, the dog, or the cat, or a simple conversation with me because they think  "Something bad might happen if I venture in there, that place is scary."

So, lets break it down for the people who have more superstition about mediumship than understanding.

What is a spirit medium?   A spirit medium is a person who has highly developed skills of clairvoyance (clear seeing), clairaudience (clear hearing), clairsentience (clear feeling) and claircognizance (clear knowing) (as well as other clairs) that they employ to aid in delivering messages from the (spiritual) astral and mental realms of life, to the physical realm of life. 

Spirit mediums do this work to help people alive in spirit give evidence of their spiritual survival beyond their physical death and help people alive in the physical move into healing of the grief and trauma that so often accompany the loss of a loved one.  Spirit mediums give evidence of spirit.

At it's core, spirit mediuimship is a spiritual healing art.    It is not meant to be used for entertainment purposes, it certainly isn't meant to be received as a "curious parlor trick" and spirit mediums do not (in general) want to be treated as "circus acts" or "freaks" because there is nothing remotely resembling a circus involved in the practice of traditional spirit mediumship.

Spirit mediums, are not spell-casters, witches or warlocks (though they can be if that is their personal preference.)  Most traditional Spiritualists in North America are members of a Christian bible-based religious movement that came about in the mid-1800's - at the time of Emerson, Thoreau, Swedenborg, and other transcendalist philosophers.  Spiritualists were known for being highly independent thinkers, abolitionists, civil rights activists, social justice advocates, and humanists.

From the mid-1800's through the early 1900's, spirit mediums were often involved in speaking out against slavery, speaking for voting rights for women, campaigning for safe food, safe drugs, and safe working conditions, and creating the political networks and speaking tours that increased community understanding of the need for these positive changes in our human experience of life on earth.

Pulitzer prizewinner Upton Sinclair wrote the book "Mental Radio" detailing his wife's clairvoyant and telepathic abilities, which resembled the modern day practice of remote viewing.  Included in this book was a very positive forward written by Albert Einstein.  Sinclair was active in defining and promoting many of the ethical corporate and governmental systems we enjoy today.  Some credit him with the creation of the public education system in the United States.  As a parapsychologist, he may also be considered a spiritualist.

So, to the people who find themselves frightened, or offended, by a sign in front of an art gallery in an art colony that says "Spirit Medium" on it, let me express mainly this.  Spirit mediums heal.  They not only help individual people heal - they help entire families, animals, environments, social structures, political systems, governments, and corporations, heal. 

Yes, they may offer you their ability to connect with your loved ones in spirit, but they don't do that to personally "wow" you into thinking they are special.  They do it because the trauma of believing or feeling that physical death is the absolute end of life is so great, so hopeless, and so untrue, it's an injustice.

Spirit Mediums do not like injustice.

So, while you are freaking out over the sign, worrying that you might be ten feet away from a demon-possessed, curse-throwing, spell-casting, spirit medium, consider that this spirit medium was trained in a bible-based religious tradition that values life, liberty, equality, health, safety and education.  A tradition that believes that the positive human experience of life on earth is something incredibly sacred and valuable, and that a positive life experience is important for all people to have, and that promoting healing, wholeness, and true aliveness is worth doing on a daily basis.

Honestly, the animal communication sessions I least like to be called on to give are for lost pets, and as July and August roll into town, I get more and more calls to do them.

The worst thing about them is that there are no guarantees the information I receive from a pet will help the owner find or retrieve their pet. Sometimes the information is exactly perfect, and gives the owner the ability to focus on the most likely area and most likely way of finding their pet.  It can also give the owner perspective on their pets physical and emotional health and energy levels, and more information for solving the problem of their cat or dog being in "feral' mode and mindset.

Other times.. by the time I am called, it is too late, and the animal has moved on into the spirit world, or another living situation in this world.

SO, the best thing you can do as an owner is, quite honestly, be prepared for what you would do if your pet becomes lost.  The ASPCA has recently developed an App for Pet Emergency Management, that contains a kit of tools for when a pet becomes lost, as well as other helpful tools should your pet require emergency medical care, or your general living area experience a weather or natural disaster emergency, like Hurricane Katrina, or Super Storm Sandy.

You can find download the app here:  http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/disaster-preparedness/aspca-launches-mobile-app-pet-parents

May it help you enjoy the coming summer days, and 4th of July Fireworks with greater peace of mind about your pet's safety!

As we turn our clocks back an hour, and the darkness of winter approaches, it's always nice to have candles (either real or non-flame burning) around to provide ambience and extra light. 

 And... candles can be used to show gratitude for spiritual help received!

When I am feeling a need for energetic support for a goal, project, healing or relationship I'm working on, or space clearing and cleansing, or any other reason that leads to the highest good of all... I ask the angels for support, and then I light a white candle and keep it burning. 

I use the same white Novena candles you will find in glass jars in Catholic churches for praying to the saints and Mother Mary - because they are inexpensive (I can keep one burning for several days) and relatively safe for the crazy kitty I have who enjoys bouncing off the walls, and the furniture. If I had small children in the house, I would probably switch to flame-less candles.

Once I have the candle (or several), I choose which angels I wish to ask for support.  Some of my favorites are Michael, Metatron, Raziel, Raphael, and Uriel... but there are many others whom you might choose. 

Find a good angel list website and choose your angels. 

I have used this website's list before ith great results:  Angels By Sharae

If you feel positive and supported when you say the name of the Angel, write the name down and invite the Angel to assist you.

It is perfectly fine to invite more than one Angel - they love to help, and they love to help even more when you show them gratitude by lighting the candle.

Once you have your list, write a bit about what you want them to assist you with on the same paper.  Read your request out loud, and place the paper you wrote it on under the candle (this is why Novena or flameless candles are best)  ...then go on about your business for the day/evening.

Or, sit down for a bit and feel the energy of your body, mind, spirit and space as the Angels begin to do their work on your behalf.

Isn't it lovely?

It's also less complicated than you imagine.

As we approach Halloween, and "The Day of the Dead"  - All Souls Day, and All Saints Day, I'd like to speak a little bit about Spirit Mediumship as an intuitive art form, as well as a mental and physical energetic practice. 

I have a great fondness for this time of year... Halloween? I love it, simply for the wonderful childhood memories of dressing up as a pirate, or a gypsy (one or the other) and seeing all my neighbor's mothers at the door handing out candy.  I was the youngest kid in my neighborhood, so I kept trick-or-treating going long after most moms expected it to stop!

As an adult, Halloween became the day to celebrate the birth of one of my favorite people...Simon Dennis.  Simon is known for throwing GREAT halloween birthday parties with an artistic and literary slant.  Were else could I be asked to dress up and re-inact or scarey bits of literature?  Where else can I scare the crap out of people with H.P. Lovecraft recitation?

Next, I love, love, love... All Saints Day, (November 1) and All Souls Day (November 2) - I love them for their energy, for the feeling that "Yes, something is happening here with the spirit world." and I love All Souls Day because it is the anniversary of my Reiki Master initiation, which took place 20 years ago this Sunday.     

I wasn't a Spirit Medium (other than being a physical medium as a Reiki practitioner) when I became a Reiki Master, but someone in spirit must have known I would become one, because the day for my initiation was picked by spirit, and a little over 2 years later, I became a Spirit Medium.  I now provide more mediumship sittings than Reiki treatments. 

But both Reiki and Spirit Mediumship are closely related as energy work.  

In spirit mediumship, the spirits exist only as energy - they no longer have physical mass, and physical form.  In Reiki, the healing is done only by energy - it has no physical mass or physical form. 

In order to "channel" Reiki - one must be attuned to the Reiki healing energy - in short, be able to connect with the healing energy so they can directly transfer that energy to a person, animal or situation in need.  In order to give a Spirit Medium sitting, one must be attuned to the energy of the spirit giving the message, so that they can transfer the information (initially received in the form of energy) that the spirit wishes to relate about their survival beyond the physical.

Sounds simple, right?  No, not really... it's complicated by the fact that every spirit medium, and every spirit, has a different energy.  We are all energetically unique beings... and my energy is not like yours... is not like the energy of the person in spirit who wants to give a message to you.

Because it is NOT simple, most spirit mediums who have received training in a spirit mediumship circle - will find that they have beings in spirit who assist in the process of energy matching, these beings are called "Spirit Operators" in traditional spirit mediumship.  The Spirit Operator acts as a sort of short term advisor and mediator of "energy" between people (and animals) in spirit and the spirit medium.  If LOTS of people want to come through... the Spirit Operator can also act like a bouncer at a hot new bar... sorting out who goes first, and then assisting the spirit in connecting their energy with the energy of the medium, and vice versa. 

Because the initial energy matching process is a process, and it doesn't usually happen instantaneously, the Spirit Operator will advise spirits on how to "most easily" connect with a particular medium.  I am a medium with a very strong sense of the physical body - because I am also a medical intuitive and physical energy healer, so spirits will often first give evidence of who they are by a quick visual message (I looked like... and I wore this type of clothing... and my general demeanor was...)  and then they may immediately follow this up by sharing the physical sensations they experienced at the time of their death... so for example, if the person had an aneurism, I will feel I am having an aneurism, If the person in spirit was on a ventilator at the end,  I will feel I am on a ventilator...

What spirits, spirit mediums, and spirit operators are not usually easily able to do is to give you exactly the message you told the person in spirit you wanted to hear.   Why?  Because the whole process of communication is dependent on how the spirit and the spirit medium are able to most easily connect energetically... so for example, if you tell your Uncle Henry that you will "know it is him" because he tells the spirit medium to tell you about his favorite fishing hole in North Carolina where you and he would spend hours fishing in the summer...  Uncle Henry is probably not going to be able to relate this information to the spirit medium.   At least not at first.  

Why?  Because it's both too specific and too abstract, and there isn't enough "energy" around it to make it "pop" as the first part of a spirit medium message.   

It's also not necessarily what Uncle Henry wants to talk about... and trust me, when someone on the other side wants to talk about something, and they know they only have a few minutes to share it is with you through a medium, they will tell you what they want to tell you...  not tell you what it was you told them to tell you.

So, the complication comes in with the initial part of any reading because energy is still being matched... if you are expecting the first thing to pop out of the mediums mouth is a narrative about how much Uncle Henry loved fishing at the hole in North Carolina with you.. you can pretty much stop there... 

Be aware there is a LOT of energy work going on between the medium and the spirit and the spiritual realm, and with you... and if you are attempting to silently dictate what your message from spirit SHOULD be... it's just not going to work out well. 

You don't have control over the process, the medium doesn't have control over the process, and even the spirit giving the message doesn't have control over the process, because he or she has to figure out how they work best with the medium... and most people in spirit are not in the habit of working with a medium - most sessions are going to be with spirits who are just learning to give messages, and these spirits really DO NOT have control over the process.

But other than that... spirit mediumship is fairly simple.  You don't need a bunch of people sitting in a circle holding a seance... you do need a quite space, not interrupted by children, noise, dogs, cars... You should not be travelling in a car, train, bus, or plane when you have your sitting... and... if you keep your expectations open and simple, you may be very surprised by the amount of information that does come through from your loved one in spirit.  Simple expectations, with a simple desire to connect for the sake of connection... these two things help create the richest, most life affirming, experiences of spirit communication.

I hope you will consider reconnecting with your loved one's this All Soul's Day... keep them in your thoughts and prayers, write them letters, light a candle for them, take flowers to them in the cemetary, or cakes, or candy... ...or have a spirit medium sitting.   

It's all good.

It's All Souls Day!

What?!?  You may ask.  You may even holler the question.  But the truth is... on the path of spirit and intuition, it helps to be careful about what you committ yourself to... and sometimes the best policy is flat out "fear of committment" or "complete lack of ability to commit."   

You know, that thing you've heard you ex-boyfriend who was afraid of committment tell you -   you know, that you were "afraid to commit"- even though you've got years worth of personal journal entries having to do with the conversations with him about HIS fear of committment... That is NOT the kind of fear of committment I'm talking about.

Here is the lack of committment, or fear of committment, that is important...  maintaining and fostering a lack of commitment to one idea, one philosophy, one religion, and a lack of committment to "identifying yourself as... x, y, z,... mother, daughter, psychic, soldier, pagan, Christian, Buddhist...traumatized soul, broken victim, frustrated housewife, underappreciated temp worker, unknown artist... etc. etc. etc." and lack of committment to any spiritual entity that offers you more power than you perceive you have.

Whatever it is that you "identify yourself as" -  the lack of commitment to that identification... IS A GOOD THING. 

Here is an example:  One day a young man called me on the phone.  I could tell he had some intuitive skill, and was dedicated to becoming a professional intuitive in the future, and he called for a mentorship session with me... he wanted to know what I thought about the process of becoming an intuitive, and I blurted out, perhaps a little too quickly...

"Get rid of your biases and your religious beliefs and whatever it is you consider your worldview to be... at least, get rid of these things while you are reading for people, because nine times out of ten, their belief systems and world views and religions will be different than yours, and their guides and helpers in spirit are going to want to talk about THEIR worldviews and belief systems, and religion... they will want to talk about the other person's path... not yours." 

Shaken by this information, the young man said 'But.. I am a Pagan... I follow Athena."  

I replied, "It's great that Athena and paganism have gotten you to where you are right now... but if you really want to learn and grow on the intuitive path, you are going to have to leave them behind, (at least while you practice) because your belief systems, and your religion, are going to stand in the way of you being present with the larger spiritual reality, and stand in the way of your ability to work with more people than just pagans, or other Athena-followers.

"But, but, but..." the young man was quite distressed now, "Athena is the one who allows me to be intuitive.. that's why I follow her."

Me:  Bullcrap.

Him: "What?!?"

Me: Complete, total, BULLCRAP.  Athena has nothing to do with you being intuitive.  You do.  You would be just as intuitive as you are now if you worshipped Kermit the Frog for the same amount of time.

Him:  That's incredibly RUDE.

Me: I know, but it's true.

The upshot of our conversation was that the Pagan Athena-Follower chose to keep following Athena (whatever that meant for him) and was not open to becoming fully intuitive, or fully empowered as an independent human soul in an independent human body. 

There is no external diety, or external spiritual being, who requires worship by you for you to "become" the brilliant, spiritual, intuitive, multidimensional "whole" and "divine" human being that you are... There is no better, and no worse, religion to work the spiritual path from... some are easier and perhaps "safer" than others, but qualifications of "better" or "worse" do not apply.   There is only "better" or "worse" for you, and "easier" and "safer" for you... as an individual.

So, the problem of committing yourself, your identity  to a specific religion, or idea, or belief system... and attempting to apply it globally, to others,  is that you must then work intuitively within a set of biases and superstitions that preclude your ability to be present with them... you will not be able to work within a non-biased reality that is most helpful to others. 

Every person in the world breaks the so-called "spiritual rules" every day... and in ways that are so incredibly "right" for them, it's mind-blowing.

In order to be present with all this spiritual "rule-breaking" you need to be non-committal to a set of rules. 

Your guru or your diety or your religion should be as important to you as a maggot in a can of old catfood.  You have to be willing to throw them out with yesterday's trash - when it comes to working with the path with someone else.

And what you think you know about reality?  

Be ready to throw it out the window... even if you are travelling in a spaceship at the time you think you know it.

However... if someone is choosing to be evil - and do hurtful things to others, you can feel free to throw THEM out with the maggoty cat-food, unless you are both highly compassionate and extremely skilled, in which case.. have at 'em.

I'll save the conversation I had with the convict who was choosing to follow a demonic attachment for another time... but, similarly, he believed he had to do what the demonic entity told him to do in order to be psychically and energetically "powerful" - more complete bullcrap.  

Most identifications and "agreements with non-physical entities" you will make in life will limit your possibilities, not cause them to increase. 

So don't commit.... to Athena, the Pope, a demon, the scientific authorities, the latest email you received about a conspiracy theory,  or your Aunt Marge's belief systems about the world. 

In the wise words ofl Dr. Who - when you are faced with someone asking you to commit yourself to them or their ideas in order to gain greater spiritual or psychic power or control over something in the world...

"RUN."

Have you ever wondered what your life might be like if you decided to change the things that you allow to happen in it?  What if you decided to change what you allow by focusing less on "disallowing" things that you "don't want" and "allowing" things that you do? 

I'd like to run an experiment.  And this experiment  depends on you. 

I will do my own work as well. 

If you could write down 10 things you really want in your life, and then each morning before work, or evening before bed, say the following -

"Today I live in allowance of... (one of your 10 things)" 

Say it 10 times, or 100 times, or 30 times - repeat it until it feels like you are full of allowance for this particular thing.

Then proceed to the next thing on your list.

When you are finished with the 10 Things, repeat this statement...

"I deeply and profoundly love myself and allow myself to BE."  10 times, or 100 times (100 is best)

So the allowance for this evening for me, for example, has to do with the fact that my solar power system generator just died, and while allowing this to be fixed may sound silly - sometimes it takes awhile for the electrician to come out and work on it. 

So, tonight I'm going to affirm, as my number one thing that I want (and need): 

"Today I live in allowance of the solar system generator being fixed perfectly, completely, quickly, and easily."

I've also been having some tightness in my shoulders, so I'm going to allow the following:

"I live in allowance of my shoulders being relaxed and healthy, free of stress, worry, and pain, perfectly healthy and feeling well." 

After ten of these (today rather mundane) allowances, I will finish with:

"I deeply and profoundly love myself and allow myself to BE."  - 100 times.

Yes, I count this out on my fingers.. why else do we have 10 of them?

Luckily, your allowances don't have to be as mundane as mine are today - but they CAN be, because they CAN be anything you want (as long as they are positive and helpful)  so you can allow bigger things, better things, any miraculous thing you want to allow - you CAN,

Oh, and to complete the experiment - pick 10 things you want to allow for the Month of October 2014, and report back the first week of November.  I want to know what happened with the things that you allowed for yourself this month.

My email is address is:  [email protected]

Lets see what happens when we start living in allowance of our good!

My mornings usually start out with limited chaos. My dog Wyatt will bark as soon as he knows I am waking up, and he won’t stop until I get up and let him outside to do his morning business. Oreo, never afraid of being assertive, will meow insistently. It sounds like she is saying, “Now!” and I know she means to say, “Give me my wet food…NOW.” This request will continue until the wet food is provided. Wyatt will bark again, waiting to be let back in the house, and then again, waiting impatiently for the cats to finish their wet food. Once they finish he will clean the (to him) delicious cat-food nanoparticles from their bowls and bark again for his own breakfast. While he eats, I heat my water for tea, wonder why I am awake, and when I will feel clear about the day ahead.

Clarity doesn’t happen automatically.

Hot tea in hand, I go back to my bed – just because it’s a comfortable place to sit or lie back with my knees up, and ask myself “How clear am I on how I am going to go about achieving the goals, dreams, aspirations, and tasks of the day?”

The answer is usually “Not very.”

I keep hoping one morning the answer will be “Very.” But that hasn’t happened yet!

So, I start my daily clarification process with three different energy generating mantras, chants or vows.

The first goes something like this:

“I deeply and profoundly love myself, and I allow myself to be…NOW.” (Repeat 100 times when possible.)

The second keeps my life mission statement in mind:

“I will attain enlightenment as quickly as possible, so that I may save all sentient beings from suffering…NOW.” (Repeat 100 times when possible)

The third reminds me to be humble and let God/The Divine take the wheel and drive for the day:

“I allow God’s (divine) will to be done in my life today, completely, without hesitation or reservation…NOW, NOW, NOW.”  Repeat until you truly feel your energy aligning with divine will.

While I hate to admit that I sometimes suffer from a bit of attention deficit disorder (ADD), I’m happy to report that this three step process usually kicks the temporary, foggy, unfocused, ADD brain, out of the room, aligning, centering and grounding my mental, emotional and physical energy… giving me just enough of everything I need to achieve and maintain clarity, especially as I start work for the day.

I hope you will try it, and let me know how it goes!

I recently rented the movie "Summer in February" on my Amazon account because it was an English turn of the 20th Century period piece with that lovely actor who played Matthew on Downton Abbey... and  I was jonesing for my Downton Abbey fix since the last season came and went with hardly enough episodes to keep a small ant's mind busy - let alone mine!

So, in anticipation of the peaceful escape to 19-teen England, I settled in to watch... what became to my horror, the story of a young woman who actually, truthfully, and in all honesty CHOOSES to become a "tortured" soul.

She has chances along the way to escape this fate.  But she doesn't choose them.  Instead, she chooses to stay the course of the becoming, and being, a tortured soul - until she commits suicide.

How does she do this?

Wanting to become an artist - instead of becoming an artist chooses to marry a man who is an artist. 

There are signs from the beginning that he is a bit careless, a bit cruel, and a bit self-involved.  But he's not an absolute OGRE of a man, he's just - a bit cruel, a bit careless, and a bit self-involved.  Still, when she experiences his cruelty before she marries him... instead of running hell for leather to the hills AWAY from her engagement... she feels the cruelty, feels "tortured" by it, and continues on to marry the man she perceives to be of emotional harm to her.

But the plot is thicker than this.  There is another man - played by that Oh-So-Heavenly actor Dan Stevens, our beloved Matthew from previous seasons of Downton Abbey - who is not cruel, not careless, and not quite as self-involved as the artist she decides to marry.  This heavenly man also loves her and wants to marry her, but before he can ask her - the artist does, and she says "yes."  Realizing her mistake before she marries the artist, she STILL DOES NOT END HER ENGAGEMENT, -  choosing instead to be a tortured soul who does not, or will not, love the man she has chosen to marry.

I would feel sorry for this young woman, except that the film makes it so clear that she is clearly choosing this terrible fate for herself and for the kind man who loves her, and for the not-quite-an-ogre but still sometimes cruel, careless and often self-involved artist.

Her suicide attempt and final suicide at the end of the film also don't make me feel sad for her, beyond being sad for her making the decision to be and become a tortured soul... and to involve others in her decision who would rather have been left out of it.

What I came away from, after watching this movie, is that happiness and contentment can be a choice that one makes actively and often... and to NOT make that choice, the choice to be happy and content, but to choose instead emotional mayhem, stress, pain... to walk the path of the "tortured" soul... is not a sign of virtue and victimization by others.  It's a sign of self-involved pseudo-self-sacrifice... without the necessary realization that if one is making a bad decision for oneself... one is also making a bad decision for other people... and by extension, the world.

So today, take stock of your situation - are you sacrificing yourself to a tortured situation?  Are you doing something that harms your soul, your emotional self - your spiritual being in the world - because you think someone else wants or needs you to make this sacrifice?  Are you really serving others or the greater world by making this decision (if you are?) -  or are you choosing happiness and contentment?

It makes a difference - not just to you, but to others in close relationship with you... and as the ripples of your happiness (or tortured-ness) ripple outward - it makes a difference to the entire world.